I just bumped into this video of The Try Guys, I already thought they were amazing but this made me love them even more. While watching the video, I saw so many things that I could recognize myself in and I truly wonder how many people realize how terrible many models feel about themselves exactly because of this reason. Let’s go through some quotes from the video:
1. “After a while it really starts to influence your own psyche. This sort of unrealistic expectation of what is a beautiful woman when they don’t even really look like that”
You have no clue how often I hear this: “Wow I didn’t even recognize you, you look so different in your pictures!” Which is exactly why I decided to stop posting so many model pictures. People don’t realize that I often sit 2 hours in hair and make-up to create a look, then get the perfect lighting set up for me to emphasize my best features, then get shot by a professional with a very expensive camera and thén get photoshopped to fix the flaws that are still left.
And by the way, what is that comment even supposed to mean? I’m sure these people don’t mean any harm, but think about it: at first they thought I was beautiful because of my pictures, so does this mean that now they think I’m ugly? Do I disappoint them with being myself? I cannot help but to feel insecure and a little bit hurt in those moments, even if these people are super nice and don’t mean to insult me.
Actually, I often feel very insecure about myself because I see all these beautiful pictures of me, and I feel like I am a ‘fake’ for not looking that perfect in real life, but that’s not fair! No one looks like that! Girls: always remind yourself that images are NEVER real and that even the beautiful celebrities and models don’t look like that. Photos are always constructed in some way, so unless you have a crew walking around you all day who keeps fixing your make-up and continuously shines a flattering light on you, don’t be too hard on yourself lol.
In the video you see how the beauty team was instructed to be hypercritical in order to replicate the standards of a professional photoshoot and you might wonder: is that really how they act? Honestly, there is not a black/white answer because it always depends on the team you are working with. Sometimes they are super lovely and supportive, but yes, in other occasions this is definitely how they act… if not worse.
I’ts like what The Try Guys say about the picture of Ned: “It’s really weird but the more I stare at this, the more normal you look to me. I’m getting really used to it“. And Ned replies: “I’m a very skinny guy, I know that. But now that I see the photoshopped photo, I look chubby as fuck in the original photo.” At first Ned was fine with his body, but now he starts questioning himself because they told him he needed to look skinnier for better results.
Before I started modeling I never thought that my hips were 2cm too big, that I was 1cm too short or that my hair should be more white instead of gold. That’s what I started believing after hearing it over and over again from agencies, casting directors and photographers. Some of the critics I have gotten almost made me laugh because I thought they were so ridiculous; one time I was sent out of a shoot because the instep of my feet was too high, I’m not kidding. Seriously though, how do they even come up with that stuff?!
Judgments are ALWAYS objective, which doesn’t make them necessarily ‘true’. If one person has an opinion about you… well… good for them. But that doesn’t mean you should question your self worth! Opinions don’t shape who you are. YOU shape who you are #YouRock #Ladyboss
3. “I think the most shocking part might be after you see the photoshopped version of yourself. You basically have seen what someone wishes what you’d look like. It’s so hard to not let that affect you”
This quote was actually quite confronting for me because I never thought about it that way, but in fact it’s completely true. The fact that people feel the need to photoshop you, means that they think you aren’t good enough the way you are naturally, and that kinda hurts. Why don’t we just all stop with worshiping these impossible creatures we see in advertisements and start seeing the beauty in real people?
This is how The Try Guys felt about the shooting day and being photoshopped:
- “This is a hyper sexualized position and my face is not a part of who I am at all in this. I’m an object”
- “I just felt so beaten down, there are so much expectations of me that I couldn’t meet”
- “There was nothing human about that, it’s just an object lit beautifully and now it will be photoshopped to look even better”
- “I don’t wanna be seen as a sex object, I wanna be seen as a fun person”
This is something models go through every single day. However, I do have to share the silver lining: yes, you get a lot of critics, but I don’t think I would be such a strong person nowadays if I wouldn’t have gone through all of that for the past couple of years. It took me a while, but I finally learned to embrace my body and love myself, no matter what other people think about me. And so should all of you! Which brings me to the final, beautiful lesson of the video of The Try Guys:
4. “You should know that all of media is altered. Everyone is trying to be better, everyone is putting a better version of themselves out there. So you can’t judge your raw self with someone else’s affected self.”
Everything you see on Social Media and Advertisements is fake. I mean… how could it ever even be real? How can one single image grasp someone’s identity and appearance? Do they look like that 24/7? What about the energy that they transmit in real life that you can’t see in a picture? Girls, we should never compare ourselves to any of these pictures, it’s a competition that no one wins. Not even the models on those pictures ;)
Everyone, take a moment to really think about this: NOW is probably the best you are ever going to look. In 10 years you will look back at your pictures and you will think ‘wow, I wish I still looked like that’ (unless you had a very awkward teen phase lol). Make sure to honestly appreciate your current beauty, otherwise you will regret it later.
As a final note: I honestly believe that the most beautiful people are actually also the ones that are most insecure, because society always talks about their appearance instead of about their skills; as if that’s what will define their success in life. This already starts from a young age when we compliment girls on how pretty they are. One thing is for sure: if I ever get a daughter I will make sure to compliment her on how badass she is ;)
So from now on: instead of admiring someone’s beauty, let’s admire someone’s kindness, intelligence, skills, talent, sense of style, energy…. pretty much anything else that says more about a person than their body shape <3
Sorry for this long story guys, it’s just that I truly feel passionate about this topic and I can’t stop talking #ups. Will you join the positivity moment?
Lots of Love,